


Ain't No Mountain High Enough

by Miss_Black_Fox



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Shepard still can't drive, terrified Nihlus, the Mako strikes again!, vertical mountain climbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 02:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Black_Fox/pseuds/Miss_Black_Fox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another one from the kinkmeme, though I don't know where the original prompt is. It went along the lines of:</p>
<p>"Shepard, Saren and Nihlus in the Mako. Go."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain't No Mountain High Enough

“For Pete's sake, let me drive!” Shepard said, eyeing the driver's door to the Alliance Mako. They were on some God-awful, way-too-hot, jungle planet that she didn't even want to remember the name of and Saren and Nihlus had to argue over who got to drive the Mako away from the mercenaries hunting them.

“Who's Pete?” Nihlus asked honestly. 

Bullets whizzed past their heads and pinged off the heavy armor of the tank. They all scrambled for the Mako. Shepard dived into the driver's seat and floored the gas pedal. A fountain of dirt several feet high rose up behind the tires before the Mako shot forward.

“Watch the trees!” Nihlus shouted from his seat by the gun.

“Shouldn't I be watching the road instead?” Shepard said, and jerked the wheel to the left at the last moment. Branches scrapped against the side of the tank, making a terrible racket in the process.

Saren, seated next to her, was oddly quiet. Nihlus, however, wouldn't stop shouting in her ear.

“We're going the wrong way, Shepard,”

“No we're not,” 

“We need to go east!” 

“We are going east,”

“No, we're going west!”

“I will pull this tank over and throw you to the mercenaries if you-”

“We're going north,” Said Saren.

“Oh,” Shepard turned the wheel around and got them back on course.

“So you'll believe him and not me?” Nihlus said, faking hurt.

“You have a terrible sense of direction,” Shepard replied and drove the Mako over a creek bed. They lurched forward in their seats, and back again as the Mako climbed over rocks and fallen tree trunks. Shepard floored the pedal, nearly sending them head-first into a ditch.

“Shepard!” 

“I'm on it!” Shepard snapped and pressed a red button at the center of the wheel. The Mako rose up several feet into the air and floated over the ditch with the grace of a krogan ballerina, “You're just being a big baby, Nihlus,”

“Mercs coming in on the left and right sides,” Saren intoned, making both Shepard and Nihlus shut up long enough to look at the radar. Sure enough three Makos were coming up on the left and four on the right.

“Now this gets fun,” Shepard said with a wicked smile, “I don't suppose there are any mountains near by?”

“Why-”

“Wait! I see some! Just south of here!”

“Shepard,” Nihlus felt his gut clench. Literally felt it.

“Trust me, I did this all the time in training,” Shepard was happy, and Nihlus couldn't understand how she could feel anything other than dread and vomit-inducing anxiety. He pleadingly turned to Saren, but the older turian's gaze was fixed straight ahead.

Shepard glanced at the radar once, the red dots were almost ontop of them, and she jerked the wheel hard to the left, spinning them around, and throwing Saren and Nihlus to the opposite side. Everything blurred and hurt as the Mako spun again and again. 

For one glorious moment the Mako didn't move. 

And then Shepard stepped on the gas, resuming their trip through hell.

The Mako shook as the mercs fired upon them, “Dammit, Nihlus! Shoot back!” Shepard ordered but Nihlus couldn't get back into the seat with all the turning and spinning Shepard was doing. He was being tossed around like a rag-doll and Saren was only doing slightly better. The silver turian hung on to the supports with a grip so tight his arm was going to rip off before he let go.

“There's the mountain! Hold on!” Shepard said, giving them hardly any warning at all before driving right into the side of the mountain. The Mako jerked but it's tires clung to the rocky surface and it climbed. Nihlus, having been thrown back rubbed his sore and aching head. 

Shepard is crazy, he thought. Out of her mind. She's never driving again. 

Said mad woman laughed triumphantly as the Mako reached the peak and she began to sing. 

_Sing_

“Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you, baby,”

“Is this really the time, Shepard?” Nihlus asked.

“I don't know the rest of it anyways,” Shepard said and shrugged. She turned and drove the Mako horizontally across the Mountain. Nihlus couldn't believe that the Alliance would make a machine that did this kind of fuckery. They were practically climbing up a vertical slope not two minutes ago and now they were going across it like a damn bug! Was this a tank or a magic show?

Nihlus climbed back up to the front seat-Saren still wouldn't say a damn thing-and checked the radar. The red bastards were still hot on their tail! 

Ahead there was an explosion and a chunk of mountain broke away. Shepard skirted the hole and steered the tank back up the mountain, “I think they have canons,” She said.

“You think?” Nihlus said, and he lunged for the controls to the main gun, “Keep her steady!”

“That's what I've been doing!” 

“Shepard,” Saren spoke, and Nihlus prayed to the Spirits that he'll take control of the situation and save them all, “We're heading for a cliff,”

“How far to the other side?”

“About ten meters,”

Shepard paused then said, “We can make it,”

“What?!” Nihlus couldn't believe it, “Saren, stop her!”

Saren was still and Shepard waved her hand dismissivly at Nihlus.

“Calm yo tities, Nihlus. We'll be fine,”

Nihlus wanted to say something. He also wanted to ask what tities were but the cliff soon came into sight and Shepard somehow found a way to make the Mako go even _faster_. The edge seemed to come up to meet them and in the blink of an eye they were flying through the air.

And Shepard fucking laughed.

* * *

The three of them stood around the trashed remains of the Mako. The tank was on its back, and fire poured out of all the doors and from underneath the engine hood.

Nihlus was shaking, Saren could have turned into a statue for all they knew and Shepard was whistling.

“Well, it's not the worst thing I've done to a Mako,” She said casually.

“I'm driving from now on,” Nihlus said.

The two of them looked to Saren.

Saren vomited.


End file.
